If people build a cocoon around themselves and live there with someone whose view of life is the same as their own, they will feel that there is finally order in the chaotic world. Lovers want something different in each other. They choose people who can bring them new experiences, express new ideas, learn new skills, enrich their lives, and make up for their shortcomings. If people build a cocoon around themselves and live there with the one who agrees with them, they will feel that there is finally order in the chaotic world. They spend each night in a warm nest where inexplicable forces and conflicting values can no longer intrude on their lives. Similarity makes these lovers feel safe. But it's not just for security that we seek similarity. If people want a long-term relationship, they will know that finding similar people is a wise decision. Research shows that similar couples are much more likely to get married than dissimilar couples. Similar values can keep the coals of love burning long after the initial passion has cooled.
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